"If I quieted the voices in my head I would face the day with nothing to write."

“The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is that you really want to say.” Mark Twain.

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
― Roald Dahl
Key:
G-Unit=Grandpa
FLS=Favorite Little Sister
Sassy Red head=Shana
True Friend=Laura
Mermaid/Slo/Tripod/Chickas=Shannon 1

Spanish Princess/Tripod/Chicka/Vette =Yvette
#61=Youngest son
Mickey Blue Eyes=Oldest son.
BFTP (Blast from the past)/The last Frontier=gone
Big Jim as himself
Vitamin C as himself
G-Man=Garth/Bossman.

Nick as himself

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Laughing.

Yesterday as sassy red head put it, I was a mess. Anyway life always looks simpler after a nights sleep. Then I read my horoscopes and had to laugh especially at the love one.

"Your partner may be feeling a little devilish. They want to see that look on your face when they ask you to commit, and realize that this is one of the worst things you could be forced to contemplate. But the truth is that others need loyalty to feel secure, even if your only response is to run to the nearest escape hatch." (the love horoscope)

"The little fighter that you are, Shannon, makes it highly difficult for you to join us in the great communal river that we are all trying to navigate. You prefer to travel solo, going down your little stream as you see fit. However, these are opportune days to try joining up with others. Some events may occur to remind you of the benefits of community"... (daily)

And as for compatibility... ain't this the truth

Can a fiery rebel and a practical Earth sign ever reach an understanding? They speak different languages: one held aloft by dreams while the other has his or her feet firmly on the ground. When they know how to reinforce the Ram's audacity with the Goat's constructive spirit, they can accomplish great things. Capricorn is slow to be tamed and won over, a process which Aries tends to interrupt early if he or she does not control his or her impulsiveness. However, if Capricorn's love is allowed to ripen, the other can luxuriate in it forever.



Friday, October 28, 2011

Fuck

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket
 
I like to write in the mornings, but sometimes at night my sleep is affected by the voices in my head, stories, scenarios, fantasies and what have you. I stayed the night outside of Ronald with a cat meowing at my door, sleep was elusive and scenarios would not shut off. I was thinking about somebody to damn much and must of conjured him. Because by some type of intervention, divine possibly.. he appeared in the flesh right before my eyes the following morning.

That is some wicked scary shit, when I thought he was in the back of beyond digging for platinum.

All those promises to self, went out the door as I turned to mush. Giddy and terrified like a three year old who has to sit on Santa's lap. He gave me the longest hug, I kissed his neck as I always do and inhaled that dirty dirty man into myself.

We talked and talked, had lunch together and hung out at his house. I did keep a few promises to myself; the ones about being more honest and revealing and he was receptive. He knows what I want, I know what he wants. But will we both be brave enough to do it finally, after dancing around it for so many years.

It's all about the step of living together; I have to make that commitment to him without a panic attack, without teasing him, and without running, but I need him to meet me half way and that is where we always come to an impasse. Are we finally arriving at the same place at the same time, as we arrive at the same place at the same time... is it coincidence or divine intervention. Maybe, it gets easier every single year and we have been pussy footing around this for years....coming up on year seven now. The attraction still so intense and visible. Perhaps.

Patience he has said time and time again.
My card pulled says; 'The waiting game.'

His kisses are the only ones that make me forget to think. He sits down suddenly close to me as I try to bribe him to open a bottle of $160 Macallan Whiskey. Suddenly I find myself naked with the door wide open, how he does this without me realizing I have no idea. He stood, shut the door and lifted me up, wrapped my legs around his waist and carried me to his bedroom and how can you not love a man that can melt you into a puddle in the middle of the day with the door wide open and is man enough to carry you through the house to... well you know. 

Why does it have to be him. Why is he always put in my path.
The man drives me nuts  and not always in a good way.

Fuck. Is the word that comes to mind this morning. Fuck, fuck, fuck.... every single time I see him I can't resist the chemistry, the attraction. Fuck! The word it encompasses the feelings he makes me feel and that I fight, year in and year out and keep running from but I'm drawn back and I keep wondering, why do we keep trying. I can't seem to live with him, but apparently can't live without him. And that was some of the truth I was thinking about the night I conjured him up. That maybe he is supposed to drive me nuts and keep me on my toes, god knows he is the one man I'm not able to walk all over. We are a ram and a goat butting heads. Aries and Capricorn.

What though is really the purpose of this. The one truth I do know is I love the shit out of this man.





Saturday, October 22, 2011

A run for the money

The best part about being three is that your wardrobe and art is always special.

What is it about waking sometimes that you just feel sexy, homely, crabby or happy. Is it the dreams in the night or the position you wake up in? I moved to a new room earlier this week and I'm having a tough time falling asleep and then sleeping well after that. Last night was a step closer to bliss, I did not wake up in the middle of the night, but I did wake up with my neck in some position you would never walk around in the daylight hours holding. How does this happen?

I stretched and massaged as I came around to the morning and made a cup of tea, thought to myself 'man I'm going to have a headache and I already need a nap'.  Snap.... I thought, no I'm changing the course of this day and thought about some special moments yesterday that made me really happy and  they put a wicked smile on my face over and over and suddenly an hour later I have a changed attitude and feel happy, sexy even just starting my damn period.

FISH Philsophy rule number one is "Choose your attitude!"

Off to make some breakfast. Have a great day!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Miss Potter



Once upon a time my sister and I went to Scotland and stumbled on one of Beatrix Potters locations while making the drive down from the Highlands. We had splurged and stayed at Castle Stuart in a tower room for two nights, the castle located outside of Inverness and near Cawdor. The castle had a gated entrance and the code was the year of the battle of Culloden. The morning we left the castle was sunny and beautiful, the colors so vibrant and at odds with each other we had to pull over to the side of the road to take a picture to prove it to ourselves; the pine trees were green, the sky robins egg blue, the heather maroon and the grass yellow. A light dusting of snow covered the ground as we wound through valleys and mountains dotted with Castles. Coming out of the mountains we made a couple of stops, one at a wool shop and bought beautiful sweaters and the next at the church across the street from Balmoral. We were headed to Stirling.

Memories are fleeting of how we ended up at the town Beatrix vacationed in as a child and I could be wrong but we saw a sign for her garden and possibly it was not open so we went into town to shop. But perhaps it was on my sisters want to see list or in the guidebook. I have so many memories of that day they tend to bind together. We tend to do that quite a bit, denied a plan and improvise by exploring and shopping. After some research on my part without the help of my travel journals... but with the lovely help of the internet I think I have placed it. Dunkeld, Scotland. 

I watched 'Ms. Potter' recently starring Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor and she was a fascinating women. Ahead of her time in the business sense, creative and artistic. She lived with her parents and was happy being single. A true inspiration. This movie got me thinking about that trip. Our first overseas trip together. An earthquake at home the prior week 'Nisqually Quake of 2001' causing fear of delay. 

I bought the first of my mortar and pestle collection with thoughts of Miss Potter entangled with the purchase. The store we were shopping in I know had many Potter products but I cannot remember if the store was hers or not. It brings to mind how we remember some events very well and then also how we can change them in our minds so that there is a new truth and then someone who experienced it with you perceives it differently and the memories get tangled further.

"The Tale of Peter Rabbit was published by Frederick Warne & Co. in 1902 with an initial 8000 copies printed and the tale has never been out of print since. Beatrix went on to publish another 22 little books over the next 28 years, the proceeds from which enabled her to buy Hill Top Farm in the Lake District. Eventually she went on to own 15 farms and over 4,000 acres of land in the area. 
The popularity of Beatrix Potter's stories and characters has grown immeasurably since she published The Tale of Peter Rabbit over 100 years ago, aided by her own foresight and acute business sense. A woman ahead of her time, she saw the potential in her most famous character creating the first patented soft toy in 1903, making Peter Rabbit the oldest licensed character. Not only that, she left an astounding legacy of stories, characters, art and unspoiled landscape to the world."

My kids loved her books. I liked to read them with an accent and #61, I remember was fascinated by the spanking of Peter with the stick.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

A little vacation

After training for two solid weeks and having around five schedule changes in the last month, I took a deep breath and submitted for some vacation time. I switched teams at work, joining a pilot team that is somewhat of an elite team and that was how I began October. The month of September and the beginning of October were filled with fun and games and now Q4 begins.

As I mentioned September was action packed beginning with dropping my parents off at the airport and they headed to China to watch potatoes and corn grow. The weekend came and I drove over to meet Mickey Blue Eyes and we headed to the technical school he is interested in and then I drove to my sisters and we went to dinner at Endolyne Joe's. Someday that will be a tax write off, because we took an after dinner walk so I could take photo's and study the neighborhood, research for a book that has been knocking around in my head for awhile, 'Curador' is how I have come to refer to it as. This evening we had some rare time alone with her youngest daughter while the older kids were boating. The following day was more of the same; we lounged on  a blanket covered grass slope above the pebbled shores of Lake Washington hanging with the baby, providing food and pit stops for the boaters. Summer was delayed this year and it was a rare hot and clear blue sky day in the heart of the Puget Sound. 

The next weekend I attended Zac Brown at the Gorge with friends. Driving the back way along the river to meet them at Vantage. What memories that drive provoked. Hanford, Midway, Desert Aire, Mattawa, Shawana and the dams. The locale of my early youth. Midway now gone, so gone that if you look nothing is there kind of gone. But on second glance there is a road and entrance. But the houses, trees and community gone without a trace. Eerie because I can remember napping in the house nearest the sub station, playing in the park and wishing to be riding the horses housed in the corral next to the steep slope of the river gorge and the only thing that remains is the subway station. The houses and trees completely gone, vanished like the land of never was.The Vernita Toll Bridge has been paid for and is now just a bridge. Desert Aire has grown and I don't recognize it so much and as I pass by Buck Owens Hill, was shocked at all the new housing in Mattawa. I kept driving and didn't stop till Vantage.

The first weekend of October brought lawn tickets to the Uproar festival. Me and the girls stopped in Cle Elum to pick up my boys and we made our way to the White River Amphitheater for the sounds of Seether, Three Days Grace and Avenged Sevenfold. Traffic after was a bitch.

I made a day trip and took #61's senior pictures, we had a date after to see Killer Elite. At first he was cranky about the photo's but loosened up on his favorite back road drive. Later in the day he revealed he had a Gears of War hangover.

Basically did not write much at all. But I saw some great bands this summer and had some good moments with my favorite boys in the entire world.


In the circle of life I'm ending the dry spell of the blog where I began at my sisters.

Oh and I almost forgot, got this years boots for the boot collection.

Uproar Prefunk

Zac Brown Pre-funk

My Chicka's