POS

I'm the biggest POS that walked our earth this morning and feel incredibly nauseous with it this cold ice blue day.

Questions I have to ask myself?
What went wrong for me....
Why do I exist to hurt others so deeply, to feel nothing in return?
How can what I found be gone in one moment....

I had everything for three months that I ever wanted, a guy who liked me so much he would have done anything for me. A connection so strong that was gone in an instant. But what does that mean, that instant exactly. It was that instant of intuition; the little things you discover when you spend actual time together. I couldn't do it. Nagging doubts and the fact I have to face that I love someone else still, I guess.

I'm a piece of shit for breaking someones heart, Groundhog's day. Waking up to find that it is not winter for six more weeks.. but for in my heart. Turned off so effectively towards a great man that was not right for me that I can't even believe I will be able to remove the icicles before they melt.

Is something broken? Or is the intuition so strong I just saved myself from something that was not right period. Maybe that is a better way to look at it. Intuition to know something just isn't right with someone. I can't put a finger on it exactly, but in reflection perhaps I should trust myself better and know what is right for me. In an instant, I knew he was not right for me, and why prolong the agony and be someone I'm not.